The Biggest What If...

I went to the movies last night to see Life As We Know It (which is so sweet, btw!). This movie is about two people who are brought together because close mutual friends died and in their will left them their daughter. It hit me in a way I didn't think it would. Being a parent now, it made me put myself in their situation. Made me ask questions, if something were to happen to my Fiance and I, where would my daughter go? Who could I trust enough to raise my daughter? Who could possibly be good enough for her? Honestly, thinking about it, no one. I know, that's a selfish way of thinking but I can't imagine having to choose someone to raise my daughter.

Logical thought for us, is Kevin's sister. But on the other hand, I don't like that idea. First, being that I have only known her for two years and only met her physically twice. Second, being that I don't agree with her way of parenting (not saying its wrong, just not my cup of tea). I don't believe that you have to spank your child to discipline them. I think that a strong tone and time out, and being very consistent with the time-out will prove more successful. Plus, thinking of ANYONE spanking my child, pisses me off! It sucks that I can't really rely on anyone in my family. Anyone I trust is too old, and wouldn't be able to handle a child. Mother, Step-Dad, Brother, are all a no.

When I really think about it, it hurts realizing that I don't trust anyone in my life enough to raise my daughter. Worries me. Somehow I want to figure this out in my mind, because I don't know how much time we may have left. My life has proven to me that life is fragile and nothing is promised to you.

Her Brand New Angle on Life!

Playing on the floor with my daughter, like normal. I talked to her and said "Hey, baby girl. You wanna try to sit up?!" Pure excitement in my voice, I was curious to see if she could do it without her boppy. Then I continued to Sit her up, she looked up at me like "what the heck." Her face was priceless, it made me smile when I saw her supporting herself! I began clapping, and cheering causing her to smile! :) I still can't believe how much she has changed! Getting soooo big! I am so proud of my baby girl!!

Play-time Outside! ~Oct- 7th-8th~

After a walk around the block with our puppy, I thought it would be great to let my daughter play outside! She had so much fun! She moved all over the place. She again, went for the grass but this time she scooted over to it and grabbed a chuck of it and ripped it out! I was surprised, she is so strong! Now, I try to get her out everyday for some fresh air and to see something other than our house. Her and I played out there for awhile. It was so nice! Moments like these are moments I will never forget.

A day after this we went out again and the funnest part was when her headband fell onto her eyes and she was trying to get it off. It was SO adorable!

Days at the Beach!

Living in Florida, I gotta take advantage of this beautiful weather and ocean! We took our daughter to this beach near our house, her first time on Sept-20th. She sat in the water with me, kicked around a bit. But she was mostly intrigued with the birds, they were flying all around us picking up tiny bait fish, she got a kick out of that! We were only there about 30 minutes, it was getting cold!

We decided to try it again on Oct 3rd, and it was PERFECT! The weather was nice and cool, nice breeze and the ocean was beautiful. With my daughter in my arms, I walked into the ocean and it was cold against my feet. And as I stuck my daughters feet in it also, she reacted like I did. Her legs pulled close to her, but then she tried it again and again! She ended up giggling, and having a great time in the water.

After being in the water, I laid down a blanket on the floor and laid her on it, while also opening up an umbrella. I am protective of her baby skin, what can I say! With her sunscreen on, umbrella up, I now felt comfortable. Her face lite up, she looked so happy with her toy keys in hand. Her smile will never ever get old! :) We stayed out over 2 hours, which is a miracle that she stayed calm the whole time, even took a nap when we were there! I was so proud of her. The whole time daddy was fishing, he joined us in the end and laid down with us on the blanket and took some photos!

Then just like that, the day was over and it was time to go home and get her a bath!

Fresh Air!

I took her outside today for the first time in while. It didn't last long since it was about to rain. But I figured it will be nice to get some fresh air, for the both of us! I laid a blanket on the grass and laid her on it. With her curiosity, she automatically reached for the grass! She was reaching and reaching, grazing it with her fingertips. I just watched and admired her! I saw just how big she was getting and how beautiful she is. Such a gorgeous baby girl! I am truly blessed :)

Being A Mommy of 2 Someday...

Reading a post on one of my mommy sites, made me start thinking about when the time comes for me to be a mother of two. Thinking about it makes me excited. I know it is going to be harder no matter what age Zeraea is. The sleepless nights, the changing of diapers, the screaming and not knowing how to help, the tummy aches, everything all over again doesn't sound so bad. Thinking and imagining Zeraea playing with her younger brother or sister makes me smile. I'm sure she will make a wonderful older sister, a protective one. I know deciding to have another child is a big deal, and a huge decision, not only for me but for Zeraea and Kevin. Kevin, he is an amazing father. I know he can handle whatever life throws at him. And I know that he is a great father, a natural. He is so great with Zeraea. Watching him and her always makes me smile, I just want to sit there and admire the two of them. He is so fond of her, and her of him. She is Daddy's little girl. I know he can't wait for her to get older and be able to do things like fishing. But deep down I know he already enjoys her. Those moments where she finally discovers how to do something, or reaches out for things in front of her and really concentrates on them. When she lays on her playmate and just blabbers to herself so loud, it's the cutest thing ever. I know most mothers ask "how am I going to be able to love another child?" and "How am I going to show one time and not leave the other out?". I can sit here and say I 100% know how to do that, but honestly I have never been there. I just know that it is possible! I love the idea of having a big family and I can't wait till that dream comes true, though having 5-6 babies over time, just imagine how many hours of sleep I am going to lose doesn't sound too great, it still seems totally worth it.

First Giggle! ~7/14/2010~

The first time she giggled was with her daddy, Kevin. I was in the shower. I hurried up and got dressed to hear it but I was too late. He was standing in the family room with her in her bouncer, spinning her. SHE LAUGHED!! It was such a happy laugh! So cute and high pitched with a huge ear to ear smile on her face! Kevin's face mimicked hers perfectly. He did it over and over just to hear it! It's definitely a noise we will never grow tired of hearing! A few minutes I tried the same thing, Kevin told me what he was doing. I tried it and failed haha. :( Oh well! At least I got to hear it! Now she is giggling more and more and more!